In 2012, my dad, at the young age of 46, suffered a very traumatic and painful death to cancer. He was diagnosed just four months before he died – the ordeal left terror in me, and cancer became my biggest fear.
For me, it signalled death and pain, and misery too. Every time I saw an ad for cancer or heard someone talking about it, it sent shivers down my spine. I was petrified of it happening to me.
So just one week ago, when I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I surprised myself with my very accepting and calm reaction…
Two weeks previous, I’d had a biopsy and it was during that appointment that I was informed that my situation was concerning, so I had a bit of time to prepare myself.
The Biggest Eye-Opener
As I was about to receive my cancer diagnosis – the doctor leaned in towards me in a very sympathetic manner – his tone changed and his hands reached out. I knew what was coming, and as I held onto my mum’s hand as tears rolled down her cheeks, I felt a weird sense of calm.
Right there in that very moment, I realised that this was all happening for a reason.
I wasn’t living before this happened. My life had grinded to a halt; my way of living had become narrow-minded – the big things had become the little things, and the little things had become the big.
Overnight, my life has been radically changed for the better – I feel I now have the bigger picture – I thought I knew gratitude, but now I do. I thought I knew love, but now I do. I thought I knew life, but now I do. I thought I knew a lot of things that I didn’t really know, but now I do.
I believe this is part of my journey – it will make me stronger. This experience will give me more depth and help me to inspire others going through similar experiences. It has opened my eyes to what’s important in life, what’s not, and what I need to do more and less of.
Strangely, this is becoming one of the most incredible eye-openers I’ve ever received!
My Healing Route
I knew that not everyone was going to agree with my healing path. I come from a family of people who run to a doctor when they have the slightest health condition. And, while I love them dearly, that’s just not me.
I’m not putting my life into the hands of doctors and modern medicine, I am choosing to take ownership of my life and do what it takes to nurse myself back to good health.
I’m not dismissing the medical industry – yes, it’s an industry, and one in which incredible things sometimes happen but I feel that no one is going to be as passionate about saving my life as me. Besides, my body created this cancer – it’s not an outside invasion, so my body will fix it!
Family members have even commented that my daughter needs me – I fully agree, which is why I am taking ownership, rather than allowing the likes of chemotherapy and radiotherapy to decide my fate.
I will using a combination of natural healing remedies, which include an alkaline diet, juicing, exercise, cannabis oil and I’ll also be doing lots of inner work, such as forgiveness and affirmations.
Already, after such a short space of time of starting my healing journey, I feel amazing – I certainly don’t feel like I’m dying! 😉
My plan is to not only survive this, but to thrive in it and use it as an opportunity to radically improve my life – in my mind, body and spirit.
Fear isn’t Scary When You Face It
One thing that stands out significantly for me, is that the fear of something happening is always worse than it actually happening. Having cancer no longer scares me.
If you would have told me previous that at the age of 29 I’d be diagnosed with cancer, I would have been absolutely petrified – I’m now on the other side and it’s far less scary than what I imagined. Furthermore, it’s enlightening and fulfilling.
I’ve never felt more empowered in my life. Life without fear is exhilarating. I encourage you to try it– you don’t have to wait for something life-altering to happen, you can choose to live without fear right now! When fears come true, they are far less concerning than what we anticipate. So you needn’t fear anything!
Stephanie is a professional writer, blogger and the co-founder of Soul Analyse.
While she always tries to live in the moment, she feels it's equally important to look back at past experiences with open eyes to connect the missing dots and work out what we can learn for the future. She uses writing as a way to share her story with others in the hope that her past experiences can help someone else moving forward. She's also keen to gain knowledge from others' experiences and believes we can learn a great deal from one another!
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