There’s a lot of heaviness in the air right now. The world feels chaotic, restless and uncomfortable in its own skin. Rather like I’m feeling…
I’ve been glued to my phone; constantly checking for updates. Almost hoping my phone will ping me a message that will magically solve all of my problems, and the world’s too.
Well that magic message won’t be getting through to me anytime soon because my phone suddenly stopped working this evening. The touchscreen is no longer touchable, and I’m now phone-less, which on further thought, is just what I have needed.
With a messy house, a child who has exceeded their bedtime and a huge work to-do list, I decided I’d do the only rational thing and pull out my laptop and write a blog post. Sometimes it helps to jot it down, you know? And when I’m in this mood, the words quite literally pour out of me, so said child and messy house, will have to survive whilst I get this out.
I haven’t written in a long time. I didn’t write throughout the first lockdown, or when we came out, or through any other big events that have happened this year. I just didn’t feel like sharing my feelings so openly but ironically, my phone dying has caused me to sit down and face what’s happening.
So here goes…
I’m not one to dwell and I refuse to let the Soul Analyse blog turn into a place that is reactive to the news, so I’ll stay clear of the gloominess that we’re being fed through every medium right now.
Instead I want to focus on what we are experiencing as individuals. Not as a human race, collectively being weighed down by the world’s issues. But as individual people who are struggling to feel ordinary at a very unordinary time.
What do we have power over?
The empath in me is suffocating at the moment. I can feel pain everywhere I look.
I want to do something, desperate to help, but what? Am I going to be able to fix it for everyone? I’m quite the fixer and I’ll give it a good shot but I’m also realistic. Now is as good a time as any to acknowledge the fact that I am powerless over anybody but myself.
It’s a beautiful quality to have; wanting to make things ok but it can also be self-deprecating. By indulging in everyone else’s pain, I am only going to become helpless to myself.
So this is to you, fellow empaths: there comes a time where we must drop the ‘fix it’ tools, and let people sit with their pain, without needing to take it away from them.
What you might find, when letting things be as they are, is that it gives you the chance to breathe again – to find your feet again, and then you’re in a position to pour from an overflowing cup.
I know what you’re thinking – “oh look at her, telling us to switch off because she had no choice but to” but honestly, it is so needed right now.
On social media, I’m seeing a lot of division. I’m not seeing much love, understanding, compassion, humanness. I’m seeing outbursts, rants, sides. It’s draining.
My advice to you is put down your phone and bring yourself back into the room. Take a deep breath and look around you; you are here in this very moment, and right now everything is ok.
Your phone will survive without you, and so will everyone else while you regain yourself for a moment.
Do you have any books around? Even reading a couple of pages, if you’re not up for a long read, could re-centre you and bring you back into the now.
As soon as my phone went dead I reached for a daily reading book, which ironically I haven’t read for many months, let alone days, and gave my mind a bit of substance.
Just be mindful of what you’re absorbing, and be choosy with who and what you give your time to. It’s perfectly ok to switch off.
Look up, not down
I am a woman of faith. I’m not sure what that means to you but to me it means that there is a power much greater than myself governing the planet, a power that I tap into when I’m feeling sad, worried, thankful, happy or any other emotion that I want to share.
That power; god, the universe, call it what you will, is always there for us, and in times of trouble, it helps a lot to look up and ask for help.
You don’t have to follow a religion to do this, and you don’t have to hold your hands together or use any particular words but just knowing that something is listening to you, and that something has the power to change it all for you, is quite the comfort.
Be a rebel, let yourself go
I’m a massive advocate of self-love, yet the majority of the time you’ll find me running myself into the ground in order to keep everything – myself, my daughter, Soul Analyse, my home etc. in check. Maybe it’s time I practised what I preach?
What a rebel I’m being tonight, letting it all go – allowing my house to be a mess, letting my child run wild waaay past her bedtime, leaving the to-do list to tomorrow. My idea of chaos!
While it is a bit chaotic in my house right now, I feel a real sense of calm inside. It’s quite nice sticking two fingers up to the uptight-me. The rebel-me is enjoying this.
So as I clock off to return to the chaos, I encourage you to release that rebel inside you. The rebel that doesn’t care for routine or rules, doesn’t care what others think, and is rather gluttonous in giving you exactly what you need right now.
Stephanie is a professional writer, blogger and the co-founder of Soul Analyse.
While she always tries to live in the moment, she feels it's equally important to look back at past experiences with open eyes to connect the missing dots and work out what we can learn for the future. She uses writing as a way to share her story with others in the hope that her past experiences can help someone else moving forward. She's also keen to gain knowledge from others' experiences and believes we can learn a great deal from one another!
Visit Stephanie's Instagram.