Q&A: How can I Stop Being Shy?

Q: Dear Soul Analyse,

I’m a shy person – I find it really difficult taking part in anything where there are lots of people, I also avoid eye contact when talking with people I don’t know so well. This is getting me down because I feel like my life is limited and I am not confident at all. 

Is there a way I can stop being shy? And, is shyness a spiritual problem?

Yours, Matt

A: Dear Matt,

Thanks for getting in touch. In order to give an answer, the latter question must be answered first: yes, shyness is related to spirituality. Being shy is an indication that you are in an egoic state of mind. In a similar vein to people who are overconfident, shy people are driven by the ego; they are concerned about their personal image and are afraid of what others will think of them. 

When we awaken spiritually we experience a loss of the ego; and we become more aware of the false self that we have created in our minds. Spiritual awakening is not by choice; it will come to you when you are ready but you can certainly take steps to reducing the egoic state of mind. 

Just understanding that you are attached to your ego is a fundamental part of the process. Living in present moment is also beneficial because the ego tends to shift our focus from what is happening right now, onto future fearful events or painful past moments. When you become fully present in the moment you gain a sense of freedom from the dominating state of ego. 

Find out more in How to Live in the Present Moment. 

You’ll also need to retrain the way you think about yourself to overcome any self-limiting beliefs that are holding you back; we explain about this here: Q&A: How can I get rid of Self-Limiting Beliefs?

Life is so much more enjoyable when we lose the ego, let go of our fears and allow ourselves to be who we really are!

Do let us know if you have any other questions. 

If any other readers would like to ask a question click here for details.

Yours,

-S.A