Q&A: How can I Break Free From Recurring Patterns?

Q: Dear Soul Analyse,

There are a few patterns that seem to follow me throughout my life, the two most obvious ones are problematic relationships with my family, and I have a tendency to fall in love with people who don’t show me the same commitment in return. 

I seem to be on a roundabout that I can’t jump off, the same issues disguised as new ones come up continuously.

I feel like I’m imprisoned by these patterns, it’s like there isn’t a route for me other than the one I keep revisiting. 

I know that if I could learn to break old habits I’d be a lot happier, the question is, where do I begin? How can I stop these situations from recurring? 

Yours, 

Dee

A: Dear Dee,

Thank you for your question.

Life has a relentless way of teaching us lessons, and, until we learn from our experiences, the same problems will turn up in our lives. These repeated patterns are no coincidence – they are lessons that you are yet to learn. 

To dissolve old habits, first of all take a look at what part you play in these situations – are you looking outside for acceptance? Do you lack compassion towards family members? Maybe you need to learn to love yourself? 

Whichever it is, there is a lesson beneath every problem. It could be a lesson in forgiveness, or a lesson in boundaries, or maybe you need a lesson in gratitude – only you will know. Find out what these patterns can teach you, learn from them and then move on, equipped with new, valuable knowledge. 

If any other readers would like to ask a question click here for details.

Yours,

-S.A