The relationship we have with ourselves, is one that we should nurture, cherish and pay attention to; after all, it is the longest relationship we’ll ever have, and we are not able to truly appreciate who we are unless we know who we are.
Here I’d like to explain how you can learn to enjoy your own company and fall in love with the real you, which will enable you to:
- develop a stronger connection with your authentic self
- find out more about who you are
- learn to enjoy your own company
- give yourself more love so that you can flourish
You Must Spend Time Alone
Getting to know ourselves involves spending time alone, which is something that scares many people.
We are often so preoccupied with our family, friends and responsibilities that we don’t get much time alone, and as a result, many people feel awkward when they are on their own because they don’t quite understand who they are alone with.
If we take time out to get to know ourselves, it’s possible to gain a true understanding of who we are and we can then learn to love who we are. But when we are always surrounded by the presence of others, it can be really difficult to tap into our higher self.
When we are on our own, it helps us understand what’s going on on the inside; because too often we concentrate on the outside of our lives.
Get In Touch With The Authentic Self
We are able to connect with ourselves best when we are in a state of presence.
Being present means paying attention to the moment, rather than our thoughts. When we’ve constantly got thoughts running through our mind, it is impossible to delve into the authentic self because we are so locked in thinking about things that are irrelevant to what’s happening now.
There are a number of ways to create present moment awareness, some noted here, but I find the most helpful method is focusing on my surroundings. When I want to be present, I take moments to look around wherever I am, most often when I am in the garden amongst nature, and I really take it in.
If we are present and listening, it’s quite possible we’ll hear what the soul has to say because there is no distraction by thought.
Journaling is another good way to find out more about ourselves; you don’t have to be a writer or interested in a certain topic to be able to journal – you just need to put pen to paper and lose yourself in words. Don’t think too much into it and don’t think about what you’re going to write first, be present in the moment when the writing starts and see where it goes.
I’ve been jotting down my inner feelings for the last few years, and it has helped me enormously to make sense of everything in my life and work out what’s bothering me, what’s going well and what needs to change. I hope it helps you too!
Love Thy Self
Enjoying our own company is a key part of self-love; if you don’t like being alone, it’s possibly a sign that you need to learn to love yourself more so that you can enjoy being in your own company.
Loving ourselves means focusing less on those awful thoughts; the ones where we put ourselves down and we look at our bodies and point out flaws. The ones where we think of all the awful things we may have said or done in the past. Those are the kinds of thoughts that push us further away from our true self. And besides, if those are the types of thoughts you are having when you are alone, it’s no wonder you don’t like being on your own.
When we are kind to ourselves and we feed our mind with positive and uplifting thoughts, we begin to notice all of our beautiful qualities, and alone time then becomes a pleasant experience because at that point, we have learned to love who we are alone with.
I use affirmations every single day to assist me in my personal self-love journey. Affirmations have helped me heal many insecurities and have recreated the nature of my self-talk. I now think loving thoughts about myself, rather than put myself down, and this has made a huge impact to both the inner and exterior of my life.
If you’re new to affirmations, try the One Month Affirmation Challenge.
Choose Your Company Wisely
Being with other people can be exhausting, especially if they are negative, and we may not realise just how much this can impact us emotionally. People who are always complaining, scaremongering, or living in a victim role, are particularly difficult to be around. That’s not to say they are bad people, they are just not as evolved on the spiritual path, which means they focus on the negatives rather than the positives, and on the future and past rather than the present.
I myself am very empathetic, which means I easily pick up on other people’s energy; because of this, I have to choose my company wisely. As I learn more about myself, I try to set healthier boundaries and prioritise spending time alone rather than with someone who rubs off on me in a negative way. It’s good to be with good company, but if I had to choose between being alone or with people who drain my energy, I’d pick myself.
When you begin to spend time alone and enjoy your own company, you’ll start to value your time more, and when you give yourself to others; you’ll want it to be a positive experience for you.
I’ve learned to love my own company and I’m also on a life-long journey of self-love – will you join me?
Stephanie is a professional writer, blogger and the co-founder of Soul Analyse.
While she always tries to live in the moment, she feels it's equally important to look back at past experiences with open eyes to connect the missing dots and work out what we can learn for the future. She uses writing as a way to share her story with others in the hope that her past experiences can help someone else moving forward. She's also keen to gain knowledge from others' experiences and believes we can learn a great deal from one another!