We spend our lives trying to improve ourselves, trying to create a better version of ourselves, always trying to change who we are. It’s perfectly fine to want to make your life better but what isn’t okay, and isn’t helpful, is when you feel like who you are isn’t enough.
Here’s how you can start to believe that YOU are enough just as you are.
If You’re Chasing Perfection, Good Luck Finding It
The idea of perfection is very much stuffed in our face at every opportunity; the sheer volume of edited photos that we come across in the news and on social media give us a very skewed idea of how we should look and how our lives should be. It’s no wonder that we sometimes feel we aren’t good enough.
Being realistic, perfection doesn’t exist and with the constant need to change, we waste our lives trying to get to a point where we finally feel satisfied with ourselves. It’s unlikely we will ever reach a stage where we say “okay, I’m perfect now.” There will always be more changes to make and more flaws we notice.
We must, if we want to feel self-satisfaction, accept ourselves as we are right now in this very moment. Unless we do that, we’ll always be chasing perfection – and we’ll never catch it.
Comparison Casts a Negative Spell
If we observe others’ lives and feel like we want to be more like them, or we want more of what they’ve got, we cast a negative light on our own lives. It also screams a lack of gratitude because in a way we are saying, “what I have isn’t good enough, I want what you’ve got.”
Instead of looking at what is wrong with your life, try looking at what is right with it. Look at what you have that other people don’t. We all have uniqueness; our physical features differ but also it is our inner identity that sets us apart and ultimately defines who we are. Instead of looking at your exterior self, look at who you are on the inside and really start to appreciate your inner qualities.
You Can’t Love Until You Love Yourself
If we lack self-love, it really affects every aspect of our entire being, including our relationships. It’s hard for us to be loving to others to the extent that we perhaps might want when we don’t feel that great about ourselves.
As people, we are happier when we are operating from a higher frequency, helping others and being kind but it’s difficult to get to that higher frequency when we aren’t being kind to ourselves, and giving ourselves the love that we so need and deserve. If we don’t love ourselves we can’t serve other people to the best of our ability.
When we really feel like we are enough, and we give ourselves a lot of self-love, we can offer so much more to others.
Love Breeds Love
Feeling not good enough brings a lot of negative feelings, such as insecurity, jealousy, anger and sadness.
When we are negative, our thoughts will go off on a tangent to other negative thoughts, so if we’re thinking about something we don’t like about ourselves, we’ll then start to think about other things we don’t like and the thoughts will escalate.
We must start focusing on everything that is right with us, instead of what is wrong. It’s okay to want to improve our lives, there is nothing wrong with that, but the problem stems when we analyse everything that is wrong with it, and look for the bad instead of the good.
When we are positive, more positive thoughts will enter the mind; if we look for the good, we will continue to see good. We can choose to look at ourselves through a new set of eyes, not a pair of eyes that looks for things to criticise but a pair that looks for things to celebrate and appreciate.
You Won’t Gain Acceptance Until You Accept Yourself
The worst thing you can do is live in the hope that other people will accept you before you will accept yourself. You will never accept yourself if you are always waiting for the acceptance of others because other people can always find fault and they may not necessarily see all of your qualities, which is why you have to do that for yourself.
Sometimes we may yearn for reassurance from others, but what we might not realise is that we don’t have to wait for others to compliment us, we can do that ourselves.
Want to be told you look good? Sure, say it to yourself. Want someone to say you are enough? Go ahead and say it. We can tell ourselves anything and get great satisfaction out of it, in fact, even more satisfaction because if we keep saying these things, they will eventually become part of our belief system.
Use Affirmations Daily
We can give ourselves all of the assurance needed by saying affirmations each day, which can be used to recreate self beliefs and get rid of old negative beliefs. Saying something as simple as “I am beautiful” each day will help you to look for the beauty within yourself. Just as “I am enough” is a strong affirmation for self-love.
You can say “I am enough” 200 times a day and you can be certain that after a month your beliefs will change; you will start to see changes in your life and you will start to see changes in the way that your mind works and the way that you feel about yourself, and the way you treat yourself.
We talk about affirmations a lot on the site and as we always explain, they need to be done with repetition; you can’t say an affirmation once a day and expect to see change, that’s not going to happen. The same affirmation needs to be said persistently over a period of at least 30 days.
If you are new to affirmations, you can try The One-Month Affirmation Challenge.
You Are Enough, so Forgive Yourself
Forgiveness is a crucial element when it comes to self-love as it can be really difficult to love ourselves when there are things playing on our minds about something we might have done or said in the past that dampens our self-image.
You must learn to forgive yourself for anything you did in the past and welcome yourself as you are right now. Focus on who you are in this moment. Don’t allow something you did in the past to shape how you treat yourself in the present.
It’s also important that we forgive other people for the things they may have done to hurt us because that can also impact how we feel about ourselves. When we forgive someone we gain freedom from whatever it is they have done, they don’t even have to say sorry to us, we can make a choice to forgive them and we are able to move on. Forgiveness is key to accepting ourselves.