Q: Dear Soul Analyse,
Please help me find a way of believing in myself. I am seriously lacking in confidence and self esteem, and this is having a negative impact on all areas of my life.
Having been out of work for almost a year, I was recently offered an interview with a big corporation in the area where I live; the company is well established and has a great reputation but this made it all the more frightening for me. By the time it got to the day of the interview I was a hot mess, and I walked into the interview room shaking, sweating and practically slurring my words. Of course I didn’t get the role, not that I was expecting to be offered it anyway. I just feel like a failure.
I’m also extremely unlucky in love, I tend to go for people who don’t have my best interests at heart and treat me really badly, and all of these experiences just leave me with less and less confidence.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately and I know the problem pretty much boils down to my self-limiting beliefs, so tell me – how can I get rid of self-limiting beliefs?
A: Dear Anon,
First thing’s first – acknowledge that your beliefs are not unalterable, they can be changed and you have the ability to transform the way you perceive yourself.
In our early years we are highly influenced by the people around us, and the way they view us can have a big impact on the rest of our lives. As children, we do not have the wisdom to dismiss what we are told, especially when it comes from a source we deem credible, such as a parent or teacher, so we begin to believe that we are whatever we have been described as, be it stupid, incapable, unintelligent etc. The negative feedback we receive registers in our minds, which eventually becomes ingrained in our beliefs, and is carried through into later life, which could explain why you lack self-belief.
Affirmations are a powerful way to reverse the negative beliefs you have about yourself. They are short, powerful statements, which affect your conscious and subconscious mind. Setting aside some time each day to use affirmations, will eventually reverse the negative beliefs.
The key here is repetition – you will need to repeat the same affirmations every day, in your head or out loud, until they become ingrained in your belief system. It is also important that you feel the affirmations because the power of them lies not so much in the words but the feelings those words stir within you.
Here are a few affirmations you can say each day:
I am worthy
I am capable of achieving all of my goals
I am surrounded by people who love me
I welcome positive change into my life
I accept myself exactly as I am
You might also like to check out, ‘You Can’t Love Until You Love Yourself‘, where you will find more tips on affirmations and how they work.
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