“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you are alone with,” said the late Dr. Wayne Dyer. There’s a striking difference between loneliness and being alone – loneliness occurs when you don’t enjoy your own company, it doesn’t matter whether you are with people or not, you will still feel lonely. Spending time alone, on the other hand, can be revitalising, peaceful and highly enjoyable.
Here we explain how you can learn to love your own company.
Connect with your True Self
Loneliness occurs in the mind – your thoughts tell you that there is a need to be surrounded by other people and by being alone there is something missing, but this false sense of reality prevents you from enjoying your own company. While your thoughts and emotions are constantly changing there is an element of you that is permanent – the true self.
To fully enjoy aloneness one must withdraw from the world, detach from thoughts and become in-tune with the inner self. The true self has far greater depths than the mind and body, it is who you really are, and it’s impossible to feel lonely when reaching this higher state of consciousness.
Love the Person you are Alone With
As explained in ‘You can’t Love Until you Love Yourself,’ people who lack self-love tend to look outside for fulfilment, self-respect and acceptance but disappointment prevails because these inner needs can only be found through one’s self. The article just mentioned, points to ways that you can learn to love yourself, through the use of affirmations, boundaries and mindfulness, all of which we highly recommend you focus on if you find it difficult being on your own.
The refusal to spend time alone can often be the cause of loneliness, being around other people can hinder your view of yourself and then once you are alone, you become an alien to yourself and your emotions. It is only through solitude that you are able to learn more about yourself, and learn to love the person you are alone with.
When you are with others, your needs and desires are not always met because there are other people to consider but being alone offers a wonderful sense of freedom – you can do whatever it is that makes you happy, without having to think of anyone else.
Use the time when you are alone to do the things that satisfy you the most, without making compromises. Sometimes being alone is just what we need to energise ourselves and recharge our batteries, so embrace these moments of freedom.
See Solitude as Sacred
In today’s connected world it can often be difficult to switch off and separate yourself from the world, which is why it is all the more important to find time to be alone. Solitude is vital for self-restoration; it helps us to re-establish who we are without any outside views or influences.
Begin to perceive your time spent alone as sacred, and make it a common practice to have space away from other people to enjoy your own company. In doing so, you will no longer feel frightened or anxious about being alone, instead, you will learn to treasure these moments.
Share your comments in the box below!